I currently work at my local Tea Room in a village in the middle of nowhere, the area attracts a hell of a lot of cyclists which i used to be fine with until i started working at this Tea Room.

My problems start with the sheer number of cyclists in one group, usually about 20 of them (the tea room accomodates a maximum of 44 people). They strut through the door with their expensive sunglasses, thier cycling gloves, really tight clothes and weird cycling equipment, they all sit down and look at the menu for about 10 seconds each and then decide to overwhelm the Tea Room with massive orders of tea, coffee, cakes, buns, and coke. Now, because theres only about 4 people working in the tiny little kitchen, some things get mixed up so that causes delays and wrong orders etc. What these cyclists don’t realise is that there are other people in the Tea Room who also want a nice cuppa, so what the cyclists do is start to get a little bit grouchy, they begin with deliberately confusing us slaves by mixing their orders over several tables, they then make fools of us, and they all laugh at us in one big roar, this continues until they have all finished their tea and cakes and coffee and buns  and coke and they then expect you to fill up their FUCKING WATERBOTTLES with cold water, at this point they think your’e their best mate…

Dude, cyclists suck

I will refuse to apologise to any offended cyclists by this post, as long as you don’t come to the tea room on your bike with all your homies you are excused from my very strong stereotype…

BUT YOU’RE STILL A CYCLIST SUCKERRR!